Friday, July 27, 2007

What good are they?

I smoked cigarettes for many years, quit about 6 or 7 years ago. One of the side effects left over from smoking, is that my sense of smell isn't as great as it could be. I mean - I can tell if I smell bad - at least I hope - and I can smell rain and flowers and onions - all the normal things. But I cannot locate cat pee with my nose to save my life. It's not a skill that's in great demand from what I understand. But it sure would come in handy around here from time to time!

My cats are generally well behaved little buggers, each with his/her own quirks and habits and personalities but they all generally eat what I feed them and relieve themselves where they are supposed to. They come and pay me my due as the alpha female in the house, lay at my feet and purr appropriately when I pet them. One of them is evil and bites but it's not completely her fault because she was abandoned and not socialized and is probably possessed by the ghost of Lizzie Borden. For the most part they are perfect pets. Except for the fact that I should pass out lint rollers at the door - I love having cats.

So I've been walking around the house asking my daughter "I smell cat pee, do you? Can you kind of go around the house and sniff and see if you can tell if there is cat pee somewhere it shouldn't be?" That would be anywhere outside the litter box for those of you not familiar with the care and feeding of said animals. I could smell it - I could not tell where it was coming from. There's nothing worse than walking into someone's house and smelling animal smells! Dani kept saying "I don't smell it. I don't smell anything." So I trusted her 21 year old non-smoke affected nose and just figured I was out of my mind like usual.

Last night she finally smelled it. It wasn't behind the antique chest the TV sits on in the living room. Not coming from an empty never looked in corner of the bead room. It wasn't coming from any place I had been thinking of or imagined. It was coming from a pile of clothes under the chair which was under the desk in my daughter's bedroom!!!!!!! She was almost immune to it because she had been sleeping in the same room with it! Nothing like washing clothes and picking up pee saturated pieces of paper and the random sheet of pee soaked bounce right before bed!

So next time you doubt your over 40 nose or ears or eyes and subsequently try to rely on one of those younger humans who lord their smooth skin and perfect vision over you - don't!! They may have good memories and maybe they have enough energy for 10 of you.

But they can't smell cat pee worth a damn!!!!!!!

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